Womens Issues In Northern India

An Essay On The Dilemma Of Women’s Rights In India
Monet Tyler

Note: Over my first few days in India, something struck me, as very strange, something was unbalanced about the whole place. I was unable to quiet put my finger on it for some time until one day it hit me; there were hardly any women. I stopped on the busy street I had been walking down and looked about me. For every woman I saw, there were ten men about her. Where were they all? From this moment on I began to pay closer attention to the women that were not there. Over the next 3 months that I would spend in interacted with countless shop keepers, travelers, children and men, but I can not remember having a single meaningful conversation with an Indian women. They seemed to be invisible, always on the peripheral, watching from behind a vial, silently listening but rarely participating in discourse of any kind. Of course, there were exceptions to this, however the general feeling of the female community in India-especially in the rural and tribal communities-was that of transparency. The longer I remained in India, the more mysterious and intriguing these people seemed to me. Who are these women? What are their lives like? How is it I could live among them so long and yet be as ignorant about who they actually were as when I first stepped foot on Indian soil? Through some small research on my part, careful observation, simple conjecture and a very informative lecture I attended in Delhi by Jagari (a prominent women’s rights group in Delhi) I believed I have taken some small steps toward answering these questions. The issue of women’s rights in India is, as with everything in the country, complex and difficult to fully comprehend. The whole area of women’s rights is full of exceptions and contradictions and is steeped in several thousand years of history and tradition. The line between modern and traditional India is often hard to distinguish and because of this, it is difficult to get a complete picture of the society as a whole without in depth study. Although the this work is written from limited experience, many of the points in this paper are accurate and may help to both reveal and clarify the problems and challenges facing women in India today. Modern ideas and long held traditions seem to be in a constant battle with each other, perpetually vying for priority in the tumultuous and bustling country that is India. In this war, women -as so commonly is the case-are often caught in the crossfire. There are numerous issues being faced by Indian women because of this and there are countless factors that play into the way women are perceived in the society today. It helps our ability to understand these women if we put into perspective and understand the major factors that effects them and perpetuates the situation of oppression which they are living in.

To understand women’s place in Indian society, it is necessary to understand the family system that has developed there over the last several thousand years and which is still the foundation of the society to date. Americans society and Indian society generally approach marriage, children and the concept of a family unit quiet differently. In India, a joint family system is the usual procedure and arranged marriages are a common practiced. When I a women and man marry, it is rarely based on love, although ideally it will develop into love over time. As Americans we find it hard to understand why a person would marry for any reason other then mutual affection and love but it is seen differently my many people. The main purpose of marriage in India seems to be to create a family, establish a secure place in the community and uphold family honor and traditions. The parents arrange most marriages either through acquaintances, a matchmaker, or occasionally by the offspring, provided the each spouse is approved beforehand by the parents. After marriage, the wife is expected to join her husband in his household and merge with his family. The son of a family usually remains in his parents household throughout life and thus, his wife does not only join him, but also his parents and other family members in her new home. The son is expected to care for his parents as they grow older and, when he marries, his wife also takes a portion of that responsibility. When a woman leaves her home to join her husband’s household, she is more or less expected to forget her family, and devote her time to caring for her husband, their children and his parents. Because of the fact that the son is the main provider of an aging parent, most often prefer sons and many women either choose, or are forced to continue baring children until they have produced a male. This, along with low education and lack of birth control results in families averaging 7-8 children per women, which has greatly contributed to the poverty and over population problems India faces today. The wives in-laws have-depending on the family- a huge influence over the life of that women and can expert strong pressure on her to have more children, stay in an abusive relationship, keep silent about violence or infidelity or otherwise compromise her values in order to uphold the respect of her husband. Since she has basically given up her own family, a married woman usually has no place to turn if she finds herself in a dangerous or unhappy marriage. If a women attempts to return to her own family after marriage, it is seen as shameful and she will often be taken back to her husband or turned away. With little education, job opportunities or family support, women usually have no choice but to take the hand dealt them. Honor and tradition plays a huge role in Indian society and because of this, many problems go unseen and are commonly ignored by the people. Rape, although rarely reported, is a huge problem in India according to Jagori, one of India’s most prominent women’s protection agencies in India. If a women is raped, the blame is placed on her and she is seen as a shame and disgrace to her family. It is seen that in some way, a women who is raped was somehow “asking for it” and because of this, women rarely report it to the authorities. In the few cases where rape is reported, little is done about it and prosecution of a rapist is even less common then the reporting of one. Corruption in the all male police force and an inefficient and unreliable justice system leaves almost no hope of justice. Marital rape is also not recognized in India and there is no law against a husband forcing himself upon a woman if he happens to be her husband. The male population of the country seems to feel an entitlement to women, as if they have some right as males to sexually harass women both foreign and local females. The lack of respect and complete acceptance of abuse, harassment both physical and verbal and sexual assault by Indian men is alarming. They seem to view women as sex objects and servants instead of friends, coworkers and equals. According to Jagori, child marriage is also common in many rural and tribal areas of India and girls are commonly promised to a husband as early as 1 year old. Sexual relationships with a girl under the age of 16 is legally considered rape, however, marriage is legal under the age of 16 if parents agree upon it. If a child who has been married by her parents has sexual relations with her husband while under age it is not considered rape, thus enabling the exploitation of young children while giving them no legal recourse. Dowry is another tradition that, although outlawed, is commonly practiced and remains a major motivation for many marriages. Lack of delivery or dissatisfaction of the dowry can result in abuse of the women, beatings and in extreme cases murder and mutilation. The most famous of these incidences are of the dowry killings and mutilations. In these cases, dissatisfied husbands throw boiling oil in the faces of their new brides or stabbed them to death, delivering the women’s bodies to their families. Of course these are extreme cases and are not commonplace however they are a symptom of a certain lack of respect toward women and idea held by many men that women are dispensable, and of a lower breed then men.Unlike America, religion and caste has a huge influence over the lives of people in India. Shrines, temples and mosques are scattered about the cities and fragments of religion can be seen throughout the daily lives of these people. Religion carries with it its own set of prejudices, ideals and restrictions and often puts women at a disadvantage. Although Hinduism-the main religion of India- is more liberal then some religions and does not directly deny women rights specifically, Hinduism and Indian culture are inexplicitly entwined and the traditions of one and beliefs of the other overlap and intermingle until both are one and the same. As so often happens with religion and men, the rules have been made to suit the most powerful group, namely men and the majority ethnic group. The presents of Islam, although not nearly as prominent as Hinduism, also influences the way in which women are perceived and treated in the society. Islam, if followed incorrectly, is an incredibly oppressive belief system and is quiet a few steps behind Hinduism on the path toward equality for women. In both religions women are expected to dress in order not to evoke the attentions of the opposite sex. Instead of focusing on teaching the male half of the population manners and proper conduct, women are expected to modify their cloths, way of life, and mannerisms so that men will not be “incited with lust”. Hindus women generally wear a duppatta, a scarf like piece of cloth meant to cover the chest and hair while Muslim women must take it a step further and wear the Hijab, essentially hiding everything but their hands from the view of men.
COMMENT: If a man cant control himself at the sight of a women’s forearm, face, or shoulders, I say he has a problem…maybe they should do a little snip snip to help him control himself…. and further more…. if he cant control what’s in his pants…. he shouldn’t be bale to run a country!!!
Although many say the caste system is dead in India, it is by no means true. The caste system, although subdued, is still deeply rutted in Indian culture. If a women chooses to marry outside of her caste, say, a Brahman to an untouchable, she most likely would be disowned, beaten or even killed for her choice of husband. Interracial and inter religious marriages are also strongly discouraged in most households and income level plays a large part in which partners are available to a person. The Indian society as a whole is deeply racist and prefers white skin to dark. Look in any personals column in the papers and you will see “fair skinned” and “white” throughout the postings. The news reporters, politicians, and other persons of repute are unfailingly light skinned while the beggars and the untouchables who sleep on the street are almost entirely dark skinned. If a women is dark skinned, it is considered a shortcoming, while a light skinned women has greater value. These racist and bigoted ideals are a great hindrance for women of tribal groups, minorities and lower castes and many opportunities are denied them simply because of their gender and color. The government has attempted to address some of these problems in several ways. In response to the alarmingly steep rise in population over the years, the Indian government has attempted to put 2-child limits for couples in many areas. It failed miserably. The reason it failed was not because of a fundamental flaw in the concept of a family limit- the idea has shown to be a successful way to limit population growth in many countries, such as China-it unsuccessful because of the government’s failure to provide the basics necessities of life to these people before imposing this law upon them. More then 30% of India’s population lives in poverty and the gap between the rich and the poor is even wider. When a son is the only hope for parents to have security in their old age, they will have children until they get a son. If these people had some sort of security, steady work, and a chance to survive, they could consider new ideas and perhaps embrace more openly the idea of a small family. Unrest among minority groups, violence between religious fractions, oppressed castes and the migration or displaced peoples within India all play a role in the instability and suffering of women in children, and until the essential factors of food, water, health and peace are addressed, a 2 child family limit will never work and women will remain under the rule of a male dominated society. Almost every aspect of India and its people is complex and has many sides to it and the issue of women’s rights-or lack there of- is no exception. History has shown that in times of war, poverty and oppression, women and children are all to often the victims. Although India has a very long way to come in providing legal protection for women, making sex education, birth control and health services available and instilling in the society a basic respect and reverence for women, children and humanity alike, it is turning, slowly, in the right direction. The participation of women in politics and government offices is steadily increasing, the number of highly educated women in every field is continuing to rise and the seeds of equality for women in Indian society are beginning to take root. Through all the suffering, abuse, pain and loss there is always hope and if we can somehow share the hope we have discovered in our own country and make it available to the people who need it, perhaps the world can become just a little bit brighter because of it.